6 Signs You Need To Let Go Of Your Long Distance Relationship | Thought Catalog
When should you call it quits in a long distance relationship? And in the spirit of giving him the benefit of the doubt, I agreed for him to come. 6 Signs You Need To Let Go Of Your Long Distance Relationship. By Vinnie You agree to do the distance and start packing your bags to see each other. The first 1 week in and you realize what you truly had to give up. Why You Shouldn't Give Up On A Relationship Because Of Distance. "Distance means so little, see if it could work. In the end, I bet you will be happy you did.
6 Signs You Need To Let Go Of Your Long Distance Relationship
Did his wife know? The fact that John was acting jealous and insecure seems obvious now as I write this down, but it was less obvious then. I really liked this guy. He made me laugh.
5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship | Her Campus
He was smart, sexy, and interested in me. Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises. Empty Promises I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended.
I brought them up with him. He promised to change. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.
7 Things I Learned From Not Giving Up On My Long Distance Relationship | Thought Catalog
I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life. I told him the thing he was so afraid of being hurt and losing me was the very thing that was happening, due to his smothering behavior. He claimed to have realized where he was going wrong.
He even began reading a book to help with his insecurities and anxiety. I gave him reassurance. I never lied to him about my whereabouts or who I was with, and I made clear my intentions for our relationship. I wanted to compromise and have that reciprocated. However, he just could not tolerate me spending any time with male friends, or with colleagues outside of work.
I visited the USA six weeks after our first visit, still hoping he could change in this area. He assured me he felt differently and that he would address his thought processes and behavior going forward, but it was an empty promise.
Go with the flow. The pattern of controlling behavior remained. Almost weekly we would have another fight. It seemed he only ever saw our relationship from his viewpoint—what he needed at that moment, regardless of what I was doing or how I was feeling. I felt as though I was being interrogated for just living my life, but at the same time I wondered if I was overreacting and being too dramatic. I would dread being unobtainable by phone for any amount of time as I knew he would become anxious and the questioning would start again.
Listening To Your Gut Instincts I ended the relationship 3 weeks after my return from the USA for our second visit, five months after we started dating. Looking back after it ended I saw the red flags more clearly, and I saw how early they had appeared—earlier than I had realized at the time.
I recognized that I had seen warning signs of his real character and our incompatibility, and that my instincts had been telling me to back off for some time. I thought it was his nerves, his anxiety, his not wanting to be hurt again, or because he loved me so much. I made any number of excuses for him. But a balanced person puts their own needs across, just not in a selfish way. In a healthy relationship it is give and take, it is listening to what the other person needs and providing that as far as is possible.
In a long distance relationship it is also living with a certain amount of uncertainty.Long Distance Relationship - Giving Up ?? It's Too Hard
It is practicing trust. It is working on your own sense of security. Texting eliminates all the nonverbal and typical verbal tone of voice, etc. This can be lethal for serious conversations, and even lead to further arguments and hurt feelings.
But if texting works for you, then do that. The most important thing is to find a way to communicate that works for both of you and pursue it. I still send letters to Marshall, even though he lives down the street. Pick Your Battles Wisely Is it going to help or hinder your relationship?
Pick your battles wisely. Oftentimes my expectations exceeds reality, and oversized expectations should never rule any relationship. I fell in love with Marshall for who he is, perfections, faults, flaws, quips, and all. In return, Marshall fell in love with me for the same reasons. Never Hesitate To Be Honest Marshall and I are both very straightforward people, so honesty comes second nature to use. However, I know that is not always the case in relationships.
Always, always, always be honest. It may terrify you at times, but honesty is always worth the anxiety, pain, and rifts that dishonesty builds. Laugh Together Find a way to laugh together forces you to focus on the things that sparked your relationship in the first place.
International speaker and writer Pragito Dove at the Huffington Post puts it plainly: Before Marshall and I dated we actually lived in the same apartment complex.
On one particular night, I was suffering from insomnia and unrest due to a pending exam the next morning. Our text conversations were steady and cordial, but he made no clear invitation for me to head upstairs and hang out with him. Now, as I retell the story, Marshall always adds that he was too shy to invite me upstairs, so he strategically put on my favorite movie so I would invite myself.
As fate would have it, I took the bait. In the early hours of the morning, I headed upstairs with butterflies in my stomach. As I was invited in, I shuffled over to the couch before I was stopped in my tracks. He pulled out a dining room chair for me to sit on. Neither of us watched the movie, but instead, we talked until the night turned into morning. I walked into my final exam, straight from his apartment, the next morning.
Did you both wake up late for work because you stayed up together catching up? Catch a silly cold from being too many kisses? Stay in together and watch movies. Laughter is proven medicine. Are you in the beginning, middle, or end of a long distance relationship?