Figuring Out What You Want in a Relationship | The Art of Charm
No matter how much relationship advice you read, you may still be unsure about what you really want in a long-term relationship. But there are. When you need relationship advice, head to Twitter. Stop trying to figure out what's wrong with you and what you did wrong. Bc I can. A loving relationship is meant to be the reward of knowing what you wanted and receiving it. Getting into a relationship in order to figure out what you want is.
My strength I believed was my intelligence and my sense of humor, so I would put on a show, all with the hope that they would like me.
Sometimes this need to please had me going further than I would have liked, if you know what I mean. I remember meeting a guy at a sports bar, we had dinner and while I listened to him talk, it was clear he was a massive player and had a huge harem.
But I was still polite, still content to sit through it all and smile. At the end of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go to a hotel room. I told him I had to get up early a liebut he ended up walking me to my car and once we got there, he leaned right into me and started kissing me.
Another first date I had was in a nice restaurant in the harbor, with an attractive man. The problem was that he kept going on and on about his ex-wife.
Stop Settling And Start Figuring Out What You Want In A Relationship
Because I was codependent I was listening and being way too sympathetic to his sob story, when I should have been upset that he had wasted my time. I still had a great fear of hurting others, or of being confrontational, which meant that often my dates would go home thinking that it was a great date, while I had already made the decision that it was going to be a one and done.
While there is nothing wrong with being nice or compassionate, there is something wrong with allowing yourself to be used, or not pressing your own self-interest, especially when you are meeting a stranger on a first date. When your need for external validation exceeds your ability to practice self-care, you should not be dating. It was a long time before I learned how to conduct myself on a first date.
I had put a lot of hours into my healing and could approach a potential partner being fully whole and not needing anything from anyone.
When you are not desperate for a mate you have a lot more options and you make better choices. And thus, I experienced little pain and was able to move on gracefully. And it was better to break his heart now than to stay in it for far too long and inescapably break it later.
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Happiness should come from within. If you have it before you enter the relationship, once ties are severed and the mourning phase is over, you will surely have it again.
Stop Settling And Start Figuring Out What You Want In A Relationship | Thought Catalog
The greatest lesson I learned is that you have to know what you want before the relationship starts. This causes unnecessary trial and error and a lot more pain. You may not know for certain right away, but you should at least have a rough idea. Getting to know yourself better can help with this. Dating can also help refine your list, but making a serious commitment before really understanding your requirements in a relationship can be detrimental.
Typically when we go into a relationship without truly understanding our requirements, we end up trying to change our partner, which never ends well.
Finding a Good Match: Know What You Want and Need in a Relationship
A loving relationship is meant to be the reward of knowing what you wanted and receiving it. Getting into a relationship in order to figure out what you want is backwards.
Ask yourself what it is you appreciate in a partner. What will cause you to write off a potential partner perhaps not having the same goals and dreams? Get to know your own personal likes and dislikes. This is the one time where everything can be about what you want. All of your decisions are your own. No one can tell you who to be. And while in a relationship, you still have to remember that you complete yourself.He Does These 4 Things If He Wants A Relationship
Your self-esteem should not begin or end with how that person feels about you. Be willing to give the person you love the shirt off your back, but your self-worth? Never give them that.